Ayub's crazy DREAM - Introduction

Hello, my names Ayub and NO I AM NOT MUSLIM!! IM AYUB. You see my, Mum and Dad are dick heads. When I was little I always asked them "why did you name me Ayub?" their story would always change... One day they would say "Because your Grandfather was Ayub Khan the president of Pakistan" and another day my mum would say "it's because your Father used to work at a job in Islam"  ... (smh) My mother.. isn't the brightest of all people.. The thing is I would have believed it.. buuut, I'm white.. So yeah... I think they might be white supremacists, don't ask, its fucked up I know...

Aside from my name I live in a real broken down family. My mum is a mentally disabled alcoholic and my dad is fairly normal.. Apart from his strange rubber band addiction NO, he doesn't collect them... He eats them... Like just last week he ate my 22" treasured rubber band ball just because I smiled at him due to him braking his back tooth from just eating one. 

I have a twin sister called Emma. As you can guess by her name shes defiantly the family favorite, total bullshit! I remember this one time I found my mum's vibrator on the kitchen counter one morning and I thought be a funny idea to prank Emma with it, so I swiped it. A few minutes later before we both went to school I was about to put it in her mouth until I accidentally turned it on, I panicked as it buzzed and flopped all over my hand so I did the only "Normal" thing and tossed it across the kitchen where it flopped off my mum's head and landed in Emma's bowl full of milk and and Sugar pops. AAAAAAAAYUUUUUUB!!!! 

Before I knew it my mum came over and smashed a half empty bottle of alcohol over my head... Everything from that day was a blur after that..